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The Blahs


Keeping things real around here today...

I've been in a rut lately with life - which then tends to spill over into a blogging rut.  It's one of those things were there is nothing even wrong so I hate to complain but sometimes you just gotta get it out, you know?

This 'rut' is a combination of a couple things, the lack of friends in our new (which isn't really new because we've been here for almost 8 months already which is crazy!) town and being confused on whether or not I should be working.

We've met a few people since moving but I wouldn't go so far as to say I have any close or good friends here.  It can be hard to meet people and to be honest, I've never really had to put myself out there to make friends before.  Growing up you automatically have friends thanks to school, once I got into college I joined a sorority and that was 80 built-in friends and then when we moved to Chicago, so did my entire group of friends.  So this has been hard, especially since I'm a pretty social person and feel happiest when I have a calendar full of fun things to do!

Being at home, not working also doesn't help the friend situation.  Don't get me wrong, I love love love being able to stay home - Brady doesn't need to be in his crate alone for 8 hours, I see Nick in the mornings, at lunch and have dinner ready for him when he gets home, I'm not stressed with work stuff, etc.  But lately I've been a bit bored.  And I feel like a terrible person for even saying that because I'm SO thankful to Nick for being able to make me not working possible but it can be lonely during the days.  I feel like I'm not doing anything productive which isn't the greatest feeling.  I want/need to do something more... but I'm just not sure what that is yet so I've been brainstorming.  I need a little something more to keep me motivated and excited to get up in the morning.

With all that being said, all of these feelings have led to a little less creativity and drive when it comes to this space.  There have been a lot more shopping posts than normal because with not much going on lately, I don't have as much to share.  I'm hoping with summer gearing up and all that we have going on, the lifestyle posts will come back.  I do really love blogging though so I'm not going anywhere, just hoping you'll all hang on with me through this little phase :)

And I apologize for an extremely heavy post on a Monday, woof.  I hope you all had a great weekend & thanks for listening!

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48 comments

  1. I totally feel you. I've gone through that same rut and honestly I'm not in a rut now but I'm exhausted and that makes it hard to be creative or find things to write about too. I hope you guys find some good friends to hang out with soon and get to go out and do things. I know it's tough being in a new place but you'll get out of your rut soon and be back to your normal self!

    <3, Pamela
    Sequins & Sea Breezes

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  2. Totally understandable girl!! I went through a phase where I was seriously bored in Boston and just wanted us to move...but you will get past it :) Enjoy the time to yourself! xo, Biana - BlovedBoston

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  3. You basically just described my last 2 years down to a freaking T. I was home all day, in a town where I knew no one, and J was busy working all the time. I find that throwing yourself into some kind of project and maintaining a little bit of a routine helps immensely. I worked on the book (obviously, that's not for everyone), but you can find an outlet that works for you. Maybe it's decorating or gardening. Maybe there's a coffee shop nearby that you can go and spend a couple hours each morning working on blog stuff. That's what I had to do in order to just have some sense of sanity and have at least a MOMENT of socialization. Sending you love and good thoughts sweet girl. It gets better!

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  4. Do you have a Junior League in your city? If so, join!! You'll get to meet girls in our age group and find ways to get involved in your community. Highly recommend. ;). Hang in there though - those feelings are all totally legitimate.

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  5. I know exactly what you mean - making friends as an adult is so hard. When we moved from Connecticut to Charleston last year, it was so difficult to make friends, at first. My husband works from home and I'm one of 3 employees in my office, so those didn't help. I've found a great blogger community and we joined a kickball team and have met a lot of people through that. I'd also suggest seeing if you can find a young women's professional group? I know you're not working right now, but it would still help find people your age!

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  6. As someone who has moved multiple times for my husband's job and who also works from home and I can totally relate! It is next to impossible to meet people our age and when you don't have any coworkers, that makes it even harder. The blogging community here has been my saving grace but we also play in a softball league which helped meet some people. I second Sara's suggestion on a Junior League! Try not to put pressure on yourself, you'll find something! And in the meantime, you should plan a trip to Charleston to hang out with us girls for a weekend! :)

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  7. I can't hate--I let being in a rut keep me from blogging for like a year, so you're doing better than I did! I completely understand how hard it is to make new friends--I moved away from my friends (although it was just an hour away) and I still haven't made any new friends...I am quite the hermit! Haha

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  8. *Hugs* gurlie! I can totally relate to moving somewhere new, and it taking a while to build solid friendships. It was a little over a year before we fell into a fantastic group of friends. We would hang out with other couples or groups here and there we met at work or other various places, and nothing really clicked or stuck. And I'm thankful we we didn't rush into a group of friends for the sake of it, because the group we're in now is priceless. It takes some time, and I promise it'll be worth it once you find yourself in a great group ;-)

    As for the day time, have you considered a part time job. Something that'll give you something to do and be accountable for but won't monopolize your time? I've always said a part time job would be the perfect balance. Or you could volunteer somewhere or start taking classes. So many fun options!

    *Hugs* again gurlie, let me know if you ever need to vent I'm always here and totally understand :)

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  9. Totally understand and relate to how you feel. I have definitely felt that way. As the weather gets nicer, it will be easier to get outside and do things. And make new friends. Also, would you consider getting a part-time job? I can honestly tell you that it has helped me a lot while I continue to look for a full-time job. Just a thought. :-) Hang in there lady, everything will be OK! :-)

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  10. Nothing wrong with a heavy Monday post and I can relate to being in a rut - although mine is a different rut ... a rut is a rut right? As to you not having friends in your community, making friends as an adult is so difficult. I always say that. I hope you find your outlet of release soon and hope you get to meet people you can connect with and relate to and most of all I hope you (and I both) get out of the rut! :)

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  11. OH sweet friend, I'm sending you an internet *HUG*! I can only imagine how different it is to go from a big base of friends and a job to being at home all day. It's amazing that you get to see Nick and aren't stressed, but I can totally understand how the same day in and day out could be boring. Maybe join a sports team, just a social one so y'all can meet new people and you have something on your calendar? And maybe something part-time might be the way to go, just so you're getting out there? Just a thought! Hope the blahs leave you alone, soon! xoxo

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  12. I felt like exact same way as you when we moved to Arizona for 1.5 years. It was the first time I wasn't working or in school and it was really hard to make friends. I definitely has "the blues" frequently. Hopefully that changes for you soon! And I know you don't have kids yet, but once you do it magically becomes super easy to make friends with other parents. So at least there is that to look forward to!

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  13. Aww don't worry girl it will get better soon. Even though I moved to a city (not really far from where I had lived), it was hard for the first few months because none of my friends lived there, and none of my friends wanted to make the drive. But in time I made new friends and different friends. When I started working part time at my husband's (then non husband or boyfriend) I picked up a lot of friends there. When I got pregnant I sat at home a lot as well, since for a good portion I wasn't working, and no one wanted to hang out with the pregnant lady (except one good friend, who's been there for awhile now), but it takes time, and it will get better :) head up, and who knows you could meet your new best friend today :)

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  14. I totally understand this feeling!! It's SO hard to make friends as an adult! I am the same as you in that growing up, in school and college I had kind of built in friends, and then when I moved back home it was a completely different dynamic and it's been hard to find a solid group of friends since then! Totally understand feeling like you're in a rut too, I was feeling that a few weeks ago and had to take a little break from blogging.

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  15. Sorry you've been having a rough time. I'm sure it will just take some time to get acclimated to where you live. Maybe something part-time would help a bit. Or maybe tackling a few diy projects or taking some fun classes. I hope you feel better soon and can figure something out. Hugs!

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  16. I think we all hit ruts once in awhile - for one reason or another. I'm glad you shared your heart today, sweet girl. It's definitely hard to make friends in a new town. I've dealt with that challenge myself since B and I moved to a new town for his job. We've been here almost a year now and I still only have a couple of friends here - so I feel ya on the feeling lonely thing. I'm at home every day, and even though I have the kids here with me, it's not the same as having adult interactions. Would doing something part-time be an option for you? Something that would give you some adult interaction and keep you busy a couple days a week, but still allow you plenty of time at home with Brady and Nick. That might be a good compromise!

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  17. You know that I'm right there with you on this! Some days are definitely easier than others, and being home during the day is even tougher when there isn't a group of friends nearby to call up and hang out with. I totally get it. I'm here if you ever need to vent - I promise it will be okay!

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  18. This is just a stage and everything will change! You will meet more people, your plate will start to get very full.... I blame the lingering winter. It just makes everything a lot harder!

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  19. I totally get the rut thing! Sorry you've been having a hard time girl. Honestly, I've never had to move to a new place and not have friends so I can't say I've been there but I can imagine how hard that is. You should look into maybe 1-2 times a week volunteer type things or maybe find a workout class you really enjoy? You'd probably meet some girls there too. Those are just 2 ideas I can think of that I'd look into if I were home :)

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  20. We all get into those ruts. I was in a one until last month and it felt like I'd never get out of it. It's important to feel like you're contributing. Maybe you can find a good volunteer program which will help you feel like your time is well spent. You could also meet people that way!
    I'll be in the same boat when we move. We'll move for John's job, and mine will come second. I'll have to totally change gears because there's literally one place in the state that I can do what I do... So, I preemptively feel your pain, girl.

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  21. Wish I could give you a hug right now!! I'm sure living in a new place can be tough- blogging is great for meeting new people, but I don't know how many bloggers are in your new city. Hang in there girl, you will figure it all out! Maybe you can just have a part time job doing something fun… like a boutique?? And honestly, I feel the exact same way when I'm in Raleigh for rotations. When I'm in Charlotte, I'm always doing fun stuff with Ryan and my friends but in Raleigh, I feel like all I do is work, eat, and sleep- which isn't too exciting to write about lol. I'm sure it will ALL get better over time as you continue to settle in :)

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  22. Making friends in a new city is hard as an adult. I've been there several times working and staying at home. It's definitely easier to make friends when you're working, but having routines, regular hang outs and favorite activities - gym, walking, church groups, exploring your town will eventually bring you in contact with friends. I agree that it's nice to have hobbies you enjoy - house projects, yard work, puppy activities, etc to keep you busy. Is there any good part time options for work that you'd enjoy in your area, volunteering or seasonal work? I hope you find something fun that excites you :) Just remember summer, grilling season and being outdoors all the time is just around the corner. Hang in there!!

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  23. I understand this rut! Honestly, when I moved to Charlotte for a year, I did not put myself out there at all. I hung out with a couple of girls I already knew from my hometown and then went to a few blogger meet-ups, but it's just hard, because it was the same with me -- I never really had to try to make friends in the past! I hope things start getting better! It's always hard to adjust to a new place! Even now that I'm back in Raleigh with friends, I find myself in an eat-sleep-blog-work rut that isn't too healthy! Hugs to you! And I always love your blog!
    xo Southern Style

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  24. We all get in those ebbs & flows :)

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  25. Been in that boat. When we left Chicago for LA, I was way bored and way lonely. I tell everyone I started doing match.com for girlfriends. If anyone had a friend, cousin, or sister in law, I basically had them set me up on blind dates! Some friends worked, some didn't, but it really helped me get a network so far from home. I also started volunteering for Girls On The Run at our local school. It was twice a week, really fun and got me out of the house, meeting people and feeling a stronger sense of purpose. Just a few things that worked for me - but hang in there girl!

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  26. I have my days when I feel like this especially in the creativity department. Have you tried going to some fitness classes like yoga or barre 3 or spinning and can meet other ladies there or at least just get out of the house and stimulate your mind and body.

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  27. It is always tough moving some place and settling in (I moved a lot over the years!) Are there any exercise studios or gyms nearby? It nice to meet like minded people. I love seeing your house development pictures! Take it from a gal who is dreaming of closets and square footage I would love to vicariously live through you ;-) Sending you love girl!

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  28. I gotta hand it to you, I can't imagine just starting over like that. Of course you feel lonely and are starting to get bored. It's so nautral, girl. It's amazing you get to stay home. Are there classes (art, photography, etc.) offered at a local recreation center you could try once a week? Did y'all find a church you like? Hang in there, girl. You'll get out of your rut. And you have all of us here for you, too! xx

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  29. Love Jr League and it was a life saver when I first moved to Richmond....there should be plenty of informationals this time of year - and those girls would love to chat about it over wine!!

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  30. I say make a baby! ;) haha slightly joking (slightly) Have you considered working part time somewhere? That would be tough but at least you have all of us!!

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  31. I 100% feel you on this post. I had 3 friends when I moved to KY and even then, it's completely isolating and lonely because it's not like I could spend all day every day with them. When my visa expired I was unemployed for like a month and it was the worst month ever! We couldn't really afford it for one, but it was so lonely and I just felt like I had nothing to bring to the table. I felt like I had no-one to talk to or nothing to talk about. What was I supposed to talk about? a book I'd read or a tv show I watched? I hated it! thankfully it didn't last long. it was in the dead of winter though, that was miserable! i don't think i'd mind it so much if it was warm. i hope you're able to find something that works for you soon!

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  32. I'm with Laura...make a baby!!! :) Not that it's always that easy, of course; but I can't wait to see you as a mother!! I think all of us can relate to the idea of wanting something more for ourselves. I know that blogging was exactly what I needed when I started staying home with Brody. It gave me just enough of an outlet to enjoy and fulfill while still getting to stay home every day with my baby!! I know you will find something that fulfills your days and get those creative juices flowing !!

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  33. I've often said to my husband I wish there was a "friend" version of Match.com. We as a couple don't have a lot of friends and would love a way to gain more. If you want to road trip to St. Louis, I'd love the company. :)

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  34. I cannot tell you how much I relate to this. We moved away from our city (only 50 minutes, but it's still far and hard to battle against Atlanta traffic), we've met a few people out here and we still visit with old friends but I feel isolated out here. On top of that I too stay at home while my husband works. He loves it because I am not stressed from work and I am able to help out around the house. He's also finishing up his masters so he never has time to do anything. But I've found myself getting a little depressed out here, I've sort of lost sight of who I am..due to the isolation. I actually started this blog as my outlet and it's helping. Maybe you could see if there are any blogging communities near where you live? That would be a great way to meet people.

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  35. Its hard to make friends when you're older, that much is true. Then again once we're at these ages, we're weeding out the friends who shouldn't be in our lives, etc. Best wishes with meeting new people - try joining a sport, or going to book clubs at the library.

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  36. I think the way you're feeling is totally normal! when I get in a rut, my blog def lacks...I just started working from home and thought I would love it...I am so so bored, lol. I miss people during the day!

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  37. As someone who works from home it can definitely be hard to meet people in a new city. My best advice is to join a gym or fitness studio and mingle with the girls there! It's helped me in St. Louis!

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  38. I feel you so so so much. I just wrote about this the other day too. Being a stay-at-home is great & we are lucky to have significant others who make it possible for us, but I'm such a social person that being home all day really gets lonely. I hope it gets better for you soon, lovely. If you ever want someone to just chat with at all random hours, I'm always around, lol! <3

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  39. I feel ya! When I was unemployed (although, not by choice) I kind of ran out of things to blog about because I wasn't DOING a whole lot every day! I know it might be difficult, but enjoy this season of life while you can, because one day it will end and you will long for the days of being able to do whatever you want to! Everything always seems better in retrospect, though, I remember when days seemed SO boring - which is (for me) the worst feeling in the world!

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  40. Dont worry lady I totalllly understand how you feel! It was rough for a while after we moved from chicago... i really missed all of my friends (who were also my sorority sisters from college). You dont realize how much you take for granted weekly lunches or book club brunches. But I've been keeping in touch with them through weekly emails so that helps a lot. I've also met some wonderful ladies in Charleston through blogging (thank god!) so that's helped to make friends here. As for being bored -- I can relate to that too. I work part-time and I had a lot of free time before Violet came along -- I'd suggest making a bucket list, that way you'll get yourself motivated to do some of the things you've always wanted to do. hang in there tho -- it's totally normal to be bored and uninspired sometimes. xo jillian - cornflake dreams

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  41. Sending BIG hugs to you right now! I accepted a job once I graduated and relocated to a city that I didn't know a single person, I left my family and friends behind and my entire routine and calendar of events dramatically changed. I know the best decision that I made was to join the Junior League in the area {this became my comfort zone since I was part of a sorority in college} and I joined a running/fitness club. I met so many outstanding, inspiring people that made that transition much easier! I know everything will get MUCH better for you! Xo, Stephanie

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  42. Oh girl I FEEL you! I honestly made my biggest group of friends up there when I started going to the Barre Studio of Kalamazoo. Seriously after going just a couple of times you will start to make friends with all of the girls in class (and the ones who teach). Keep your head up lady and let me know if you need anything!

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  43. This speaks so much to me! We set up our new house in the fall after our wedding and other than my family, we’re still working on the making friends thing. Totally feel you on the making a couple friends but none that I could call close ones yet. I’ve scrolled through the comments to find ideas for myself as well because I don’t work everyday either and days I do work it’s for a family business so again I feel you on the not being able to make friends at work because I feel like that’s usually the easiest way! Blogging is such a great outlet and the supportive ladies out there is amazing! I feel like this time of the year there are always more activities and such going on so hopefully some fun ones pop up in your area soon! We’ve also tried to just be out in our neighborhood whether it’s walks or what to try to meet our neighbors and become friendly with them and that helps to feel motivated in things improving!

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  44. Girl it took me a good few years to build my village in a new city, it'll happen! Just know that it takes a little bit of time. I'm like you though, I need close friends around me to feel at home, so I totally get it. I met my closest friends in Junior League at first, and then when I became a mom at mom-related "stuff." I bet you'll look back in a couple years and wonder what that felt like! Hope the "blahs" pass soon!

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  45. I'm so sorry you've been feeling this way. I've never had to move to a new city but I think you guys are so brave to do so! I can't imagine not knowing anyone. While I can't relate you staying at home either, I think we can all relate to feeling the blahs especially on our blogs! Have you thought about volunteering anywhere for a couple hours a day? Maybe a elementary school or soup kitchen. It would be a good way to get out of the house for a little while but not tying yourself down with a job. Praying it all passes quickly for you!

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  46. You are totally hitting on all my feelings. While I do work, my friends don't live close by, so I have to drive 30-45 minutes because they generally don't come out to my house. The friends I do have in my suburbs are all looking to move elsewhere. And I'm exhausted all the time by trying to not be in a rut,so my creative juices are suffering. I wish we lived closer so we could hang out and have puppy play dates! xoxo

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  47. Oh girlfriend, just seeing this but I totally feel ya! I never had to try too hard to make friends in HS or in college since you're surrounded by SO. MANY. PEOPLE at all times so I totally feel ya! Even thought I work the friend situation has exponentially gotten smaller, which is normal as we get to old lady status but it's a real drag! Some over to the east side for real real and we can hang and I can come meet you in the zoo or HEY, what about half way :) Lemme just finish up this 24 day challenge so we can eat ice cream and drink booze together though, k! {for real real though XX}

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  48. I moved to Omaha with my husband two years ago. We didn't know a soul and it was really scary. What I would recommend is joining meetup.com, reaching out to other bloggers, and joining your local junior league!!

    Her Heartland Soul
    http://herheartlandsoul.com

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